Marlboro Man

Monday, January 5, 2015

When asked by my dad if Jer and I would enter a cattle sorting competition we said, "Sure". 

We had no clue what exactly a cattle sorting was and there is also the minor fact that Jer has only rode a horse four times his whole life, but carpe diem.

We arrived early to try and get an idea of what exactly we were supposed to do as the more experienced riders went before us. 

We entered the arena and took a glance around and gave each other the "we are in trouble" looks. 

We felt like Vinny Gambini and Mona Lisa Vito when they first arrived to Beechum County for the first time, totally out of place. (If you have not watched the movie My Cousin Vinny please rent it straight away; it is hilarious).

We warmed up our horses and then the competition started. Jer was up first. 

How it works: 
There are ten cattle which are numbered from one to ten. 

You have a team of two. 

The announcer calls out a number and you have to sort that numbered cattle out of the pen and then the next numbered cattle after that.  

You have one minute to get as many cattle out of the pen as possible in order. If you go out of order or any of the other cattle go out of the pen you are disqualified. 

You have one minute to get as many cattle out of the pen as possible in order by numbered sequence. 

You have to ride with everyone in your grouped class and the individual with the most accumulated cattle out of the pen places to win the cash money. (I am seriously out of breath writing that.)

I was sitting watching his first run and I was like what the f? Did he turn into John Fucking Wayne overnight. He got one cattle then another and another. 


He ended up getting seven cattle his first freaking try. So I was thinking if he can do it, I surely will have no problem.

I got one cattle through the hole and then let the wrong numbered cattle slip through and was disqualified (0 cattle for Kerry; 7 for Jer). 

Crap, I looked up to see him smirking.

I was teamed up with my dad the next time.

 Blink, and we were done. (Kerry 0 Jeremy 7)

He got lucky the first time; second try is up. 

Major eye roll happening right now. 


His horse started acting up at this point and his teammate had to hold down the fort for a bit before he made his way back in the pen.

They still managed to get five cattle. 

He also went right after this and got another six or so? I stopped keeping count at this point.

He was letting this get to his head and started thinking he was Marlboro Man.

My dad came over to congratulate and tell me I need to step up my game. I know, I know.

See that number...(Kerry 2 Jer like 18) I am moving up at least.

Jer and my dad struck out on their heat.  

During my next two heats I got a total of 9 bringing my total to 11.

Even though he totally crushed me and I was a little bitter about it, I was so proud of him. And even more excited for him because he actually placed and won some money. 

Dolla Dolla Bills Ya'll.